Journeying with the Time-Traveler’s Wife
I am having a hard time, in my tiny bedroom studio, in the beginning of my married life. The space that I can call mine, that isn’t full of Henry, is so small that my ideas have become small. I am like a caterpillar in a cocoon of paper; all around me are sketches for sculptures, small drawings that seem like moths fluttering against the windows, beating their wings to escape from this tiny space. I make maquettes, tiny sculptures that are rehearsals for huge sculptures. Every day the ideas come more reluctantly, as though they know I will starve them and stunt their growth. At night I dream about color, about submerging my arms into vats of paper fibre. I dream about miniature gardens I can’t set foot in because I am a giantess. ~ The Time-Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
I love this book. And yet, unlike any other book that I have professed my love for, I have only read it once and that was 5 years ago.
I remember picking it up on a 3 for 2 deal from a stand in Waterstones bookshop. I’d heard recommendations, and I was willing to give it a shot. You see, it was right before we were flying out to Australia, and I needed something that would carry me through the long flight. I tend to see short-haul flights as an endurance test, so you can imagine how I deal with soul-sapping flights where time stretches into new shapes that the mind can no longer make sense of where it begins and where it ends.
So I bought this book with the hope that it would so distract me that I could lose myself in its pages, rather than in the maelstrom of strong emotion that always seems to envelop me in airports, or in the recycled air of a confined capsule hurtling its way above the clouds.
And what I found was love. A deep profound love for the language, the story, the characters… but especially for Clare Abshire – the time-traveler’s wife. Her story vibrated within my heart and connected with me on a very deep level.
About two thirds of the way through this 520 page novel, I started to cry. And I didn’t stop until I reached the last page. In fact, not even then, because I sat and sobbed on and off for 3 days after the last page was turned.
You see I think a part of me saw, even then, how women invest so much of themselves, their value, their identity into their relationships. I could see that I too had lost parts of myself because those parts didn’t fit the roles that I needed to play. I saw that my subjectivity was so scattered because I had invested portions of it in so many places, that when I turned to look inwards, I found there was precious little of me left. And what was left, I didn’t really recognise as me anyway.
After I read this novel, I began to change. Just very slowly at first. I picked up a camera and began to take photos. I started a blog and began to share stories. I wrote poetry and dared to whisper it to the wind.
I began to reclaim that studio space that Clare describes so beautifully – except in my case, and maybe in yours too, my studio space is one found in the heart and in the womb – my creative cauldron. Bit by bit, I reclaimed my creativity, and in the process, I began the process of reclaiming all those bits and pieces of myself that I’d scattered around so liberally.
I gave myself permission to be self-centered so that I could really, truly know myself once more.
So, yes, this summer feels like the right time to pick up this book and read it once again, to join Clare as she navigates her sense of selfhood in this most complex and fantastical of love stories. And I was wondering, if you’d like to read it along with me… a kind of summer reading group, if you will.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve never read it before, or if you’ve read it several times over, you are all welcome on this journey. If this sounds like something you’d like to join me in, add a comment so that I can judge interest and then I’ll figure out the details.
I’ll leave you with the beautiful Derek Walcott poem that begins the novel…
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved youall your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
***************
UPDATE: I’m so happy about the response to this – yay! I have made wee video which I will be sharing later today with some info about how this is all going to work. But, just to give you a heads-up, we’re going to start reading on the 20th June, so if you want to join in, try and get yourself a copy by then!
45 Comments
green ink
I would happily join you Amy. I’ve read it many times, and it’s easily one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. Ooh, I feel quite excited about reading it again! I think, like you, I’m at a point in my life where I need to.
Amy
So happy you’re joining in, sweetie!
Amy
xx
Susannah
we must have been walking a (sort of) parallel path — i read this book in the first year after he died. i was reading so much back then, as a way to escape, and this book just scooped out my insides so completely i’ve never been able to read it again. it was the end that got to me the most (you know the bit i mean, i’m sure) — it was all i wished for at that time. so i won’t be joining you for the read-along, but yes, a huge book for me too. huge. xo
Amy
Susannah – I most certainly know the bit you mean – it broke my heart too, so I can’t even imagine how you must have felt when you read it. I totally appreciate that you won’t be joining in the read-along, but I want to send you a huge hug, my lovely, for sharing your experience of reading it the first time.
Much love
Amy
xx
Miss P.
I think it would be interesting to read in a group. I read it once traveling Australia in early 2005. Someone in a hostel left it and I picked it up.
Amy
Lol – funny how we both read it in Australia – or on the way to Australia at least. Definitely a book to turn your world upside-down 😉
Amy
xx
Raven
I’m in! I loved the movie & the book sounds more wonderful & I haven’t read it yet, so Yes! I have been in my own reawakening phase for about 8 months now, so I can very much understand the value.
Amy
Do you know, there are so many beautifully poetic moments in the book that just weren’t captured in the film. I predict you’ll love the book more 😉
Amy
xx
Helen
Having just finished re-reading the book, this post was very timely. I adore TTW; the writing, the characterisation, the absolutely brilliant concept at its heart. I encouraged my husband to try it and he’s really enjoying it too, proving its wider appeal. So yes, I would love to be involved in reading it in the company of others.
Amy
I recommended it to my dad who also really loved it – there really is no limit to the appeal of great stories, is there? 🙂
Amy
xx
mercedes
I would love to join in! I’ve read the book several times and have been in love with it ever since the first read.
Amy
I love that you’ve read it so many times and are willing to join us in reading it again – I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on it as we go along!
Amy
xx
Jackie Walker
I saw it in a bookshop and knew nothing about it at all, I was gripped, held tight and was completely absorbed by the story. I lent the book to a friend and it didn’t come back, my shelf was so bare without it and I knew I had to have one of my own for the day I’d read it again.
I will start next Friday as I fly, to Australia (albeit en route to NZ, I swap planes in Sydney) – what a glorious treat and I so look forward to seeing how I feel now.
I loved the film only because I loved the book!! Like most adaptations the book was far superior.
Amy
As I mentioned on Twitter, I just love the fact that you’re going to be reading this on your flight to Oz almost 5yrs to the day from when I read it on my way to Oz. Seems most auspicious!
Amy
xx
Glad Doggett
This book also came to me when I needed it.
I related so much to the longing and feelings of loss that’s woven throughout.
I read it (the first time) when my new husband was sent off to war to Iraq (not long after we married).
I still count it as one of my favorites. In a way, I think it helped me get through the first deployment as a new Army wife.
Amy
Oh, Glad, I can just imagine the impact this book must have had at that time in your life. One of the things for me, I think, is if I will respond differently now that it’s 5 years on from my first reading. It’ll be a really interesting experiment…
Amy
xx
Anita-Clare Field
Amy,Amy, Amy, I am now persuaded after thinking about all the reasons why I love this book so. Have just been speaking to Jackie and I told her about when I was on the tube and burst into tears and the woman opposite me said ‘Oh.That bit ?’ and I nodded and she said ‘I know…’ TTW had the most profound effect on me and I hope it continues to do so this 5th and possibly 6th reading- knowing how I like to read it so. I am going to put it back on the book case to avoid temptation and read Tom’s book until I receive further instructions. xxx
Amy
Neets – I just love that you connected with a totally random woman on the tube over this book. And it so totally sums up why I think this book is the perfect book to read in a group – it connects us in some essential kind of way – so beautiful.
Amy
xx
Karen Sharp
I would like to participate. I have not read Time Traveler’s Wife, but something deep within me feels a tug, a strong pull to join in with this group of women to read this book. To be in naked connection with other women, walking a path of connection. I don’t know, I supposed I don’t need to articulate it any better than that. But I’d like to participate.
Amy
I love that you want to join in, Karen. So far, we have quite a few people joining in who have never read the book, and others that have read it many times – all are welcome and everyone’s opinions will be honoured 🙂
Amy
xx
Annabel
Count me in, Amy! It’s one of those books I have been meaning to read but somehow haven’t quite got round to, so this is a good way of getting me to read it and, it will be interesting reading it along with other people.
Thanks for a beautiful post – I have always admired your openness and a lot of what you said really rang true for me.
And, funnily enough, I have recently been teaching that Derek Walcott poem to GCSE students! xx
Amy
Aw, thank you, Annabel – I do try to be as open as I can in my writing – I’m so glad that it’s resonated with you! And I’m also really happy that you’re going to join in – I can’t wait to hear what you think about it 🙂
Amy
xx
Joanna Paterson
That sounds like a lovely idea Amy, not least as I need prompting to get back to reading fiction, and would love to try doing so in company. Count me in!
Amy
Woohoo! Yay, Joanna – knowing that you’re joining in makes me so happy 🙂
Amy
xx
Jackie Walker
I’m with you there Joanna, it’ll be the first fiction book I’ve read in years too – I’m soooo looking forward to it 🙂
Babs
Thank you. You’ve woken something that instead of being shut away should be brought into the open if I’m going to survive the next few years.
Thank you
Amy
Babs, I am sending you an extra-special big hug. I feel so humbled that my words have helped you in this way. Looking forward to sharing this journey with you.
Amy
xx
Lilla Friend
I think it is a brilliant idea. The book is yet unread, but somewhere in my house. I was creative once, but quite a while back. I want my voice back. Count me in!
Amy
I want you to have your voice back too, Lilla!!! I can’t wait to hear what yo’re going to say about the book – it seems to be a book that lots of people have lurking on their bookshelves unread. Time to lift the cover…
Amy
xx
Lucy Waters
I’ve found my copy so I’m in! I read it ages ago and loved it; I love the idea of reading it in a virtual group 🙂
Amy
Wonderful! It sounds as though you’re in a similar situation as me in that we both have a big gap between readings – will be interesting to see if our reaction/perception of the story has shifted over time, won’t it?
Amy
xx
jane
i loved this book and would love to join in… my experience with the sorrow it evoked was similar… but mine was mucus covered, eyes like tomatoes, animal noises sorrow… i may not be pretty company but i would like to join you.
Amy
I would love for you to join us too, Jane. Although I must confess that your description sounds very much like me when I was reading it too – I may end up being responsible for a lot of snotty mess over this summer!
Amy
xx
Lisa
I never made it though the book. I tried to read it. I just didn’t have it in me to keep on reading. Not because I didn’t like the book but because emotionally I just could not get through it at the time. It was too much. I’m willing to give it another chance!
Di
Hi, I’ve never read the book, but it sounds like it’s worth a read! Just ordered it from Amazon and would love to join in 🙂 xx
Rachel @ Suburban Yogini
Right well obviously I’m in but so is Himself if that’s OK. He loved the film and wants to read the book now to give a male perspective (I think he has a boy crush on the Time Traveller)
(is it OK if a boy joins in?)
Jenny
Hi Amy, I’d love to join in the book club as I haven’t read TTW yet. I love the idea of all of us reading (re-reading) it together over the summer (including Rachel’s “himself”). Fun!! 🙂
Debbie
I’m in. I read it and loved it when it first came out. I no longer have my copy, but have ordered another and look forward to rereading it along with everyone here.
Carole Jane Treggett
Wow Amy,
I swear to God, I was just telling my husband at supper last night that I have to buy another copy of ‘Time Traveler’s Wife’ because I wanted to re-read it this summer for basically the same reasons as you described in your blog post. I no longer have my copy that I bought when the novel was first published;someone borrowed it a long time ago and I don’t remember who it was, and they never returned it 🙂
Anyway, Claire was ‘calling’ to me, as I’ve been trying to reclaim my creative self/establish my own small business over the past months!
It’s one of my all-time favourite books. So I’m all for your idea!
Carole Jane Treggett
Hmm, maybe I should add if it isn’t obvious that I only found/read this blog post today, the day after you published it…
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Karen Wallace
Oh Amy, I’ve been seeking a book to read on my own international journey – I leave Australia on 21st June for the US. And this, this sounds so perfect – almost divine timing. I’ve never read it, but I’d love to join you as a newbie. Your description intrigues me. xxx
Sara
Hello Amy, as I said I needed to have a think about this before joining in, as I wasn’t sure if I wanted to re-visit this book given what was happening in my life at the time that I read it. After reading the comments from some of the others here I have thought some more and would definitely like to give it a go.
So yes, please count me in!
Sara x
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