Self-Discovery

Seal-Searching

It’s funny how we move in and out of the way of sharing our lives online. Dancing in and out of visibility. Appearing momentarily out of the fog, the air heavy with anxious reluctance, and then pulling back again, the bank of white space swallowing up that which was there only seconds ago.

On my walks by the harbour I’ve been visited by a beautiful seal. Her sleek head breaks through the calm surface of the sheltered expanse of water, before she slips once again into the bluegreen depths. I stay standing, waiting for her to show herself again. And she does. Her satiny speckled pelt gleaming, her wide eyes adjusting, gazing at the above water world where she now finds herself.

Her appearances are only seconds long, and I stand waiting for many minutes in between… waiting, waiting, waiting. My heart calls to hers. One more sighting. One more glimpse of this beautiful animal, and then I’ll leave.

It strikes me that I could spend a long time, standing here, waiting. Seal-searching.

It also strikes me just how much this seal and I have in common. I, too, have a tendency to hide myself away, losing myself to the watery depths of my own imaginative world – my essence scattering like a shoal of fish – fragments of silver dispersing in the murky salt sea waters of my unconscious.

I feel as though I have been swimming for a while now, raising my head only briefly above the surface to remind you all that I’m still here. But there’s a part of me that feels some time above water might feel good – would be satisfying at a soul-deep level. So, I’m going to try blogging a bit more, speaking up a bit more, sharing a bit more.

Hopefully you won’t be left waiting for quite so long between sightings…

Oh, and just in case you’re reading this on your feed-reader, you might want to pop over to the site so you can check out the new page that I created yesterday that’s positively bursting at the seams with free goodies!

10 Comments

  • Amy

    Funny you ask, Julie. I was just cleaning up my bedroom and rediscovered that beautiful book you got me for my birthday, The People of the Sea: Celtic Tales of the Seal-folk. Guess what I’ll be reading over the next week 😉

  • Amy

    Oh Paula, ‘quietly joyous’ – that expresses the feeling I have precisely. So glad you feel it too 🙂

    Thank you, Joanna – I love having you as my friend.

    Yeah for the silver flashes, Jackie!!

  • Ruthie

    Beautifully put Amy, I can so associate with what you say, since i have a tendancy to shut myself away in my “other” world & sometimes really dont feel able to show myself truly, unless through my art, and even that is oftenpainstaikingly careful. I am taking steps to try & do more of the speaking up & sharing, though i must admit it feels a scary thought. Thank you for these words. x

  • Amy

    So identify with that ‘oftenpainstaking’ sharing of my work, Ruthie. It can be scary to be more open, more vulnerable – but really, we know the rewards are so worth the effort, don’t we?

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